Obstacles

One of the things I have to learn in recovery is how to fill all the time that I used to spend unproductively destroying my life. As you can imagine, that's a lot of time. And it also means learning new ways to interact with the world around me. I'm an introvert by nature, so that's a hard thing too.

So there are two big hurdles that seem to crop up: boredom and loneliness.

In the recovery program I'm pursuing, they talk about a Vitally Absorbing Creative Interest. This is a hobby or pursuit that you can take after with a passion in such a way that it takes up some of that 'extra' time, and releases stress as well. The types of VACI's are as varied as the stars in the sky. But when people are new in recovery, it seems like we can't figure out how to find a VACI. I think often, the real obstacle to finding a VACI or defeating boredom is within ourselves.

The first thing we do is close off anything new. 'I don't want to try something new.' This is the quickest way to shut off a path away from boredom. I used to hear this a lot when I was in church, "the 7 words that mean a church will never grow: we've never done it that way before."

The next thing we do is set unrealistic expectations of our performance. 'I won't be good at it, or it takes a long time to get good at it.'

I am really good at making excuses for why I can't do something. Fifteen people could give me suggestions of things to try to solve a problem, or a new thing to try, and I could find 15 variations on a theme to keep me from trying something. But the only real obstacle is me.

So my encouragement to me is to try something. The Nike saying is "Just Do It.(tm)" I would do well to remember that, and remember all the new things I tried that I didn't think I'd like, and found myself enjoying. Will I be nervous? Yes. Could I fail? Sure. But I could succeed. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.